Find My Way Back To You
by Lizzy Speril
Summary: Rose is left behind once again on Bad Wolf Bay, this time with the Metacrisis. But he is different from the Doctor. Less forgiving, madder. Determined to get away from him, Rose reconstructs the dimension cannon. But she may not be able to make a clean getaway if the Metacrisis Doctor finds out. Reuinion fic. Evil!Metacrisis.


"And how was that sentence gonna end?"

The Doctor in brown stared Rose in the eyes.

"Does it need saying?"

Rose blinked slowly. He wasn't going to say it. She turned slowly to the Doctor in blue, and paused. She knew what he was going to say, but she didn't want him to say it. It would make leaving her Doctor too real. But it wasn't as though she had a choice in the matter.

"And you. Doctor. What was the end of the sentence?"

The Metacrisis smiled and leaned in close to her. He whispers in her ear.

"I love you."

She grabs his lapels and kisses him. He kisses her back, and it is real. Genuine. She imagines that he is the original Doctor, and that they are the only two people on the beach. Jackie began to walk away, giving them some space. They are kissing, as one, until they hear the sound of the TARDIS door closing. Rose turns sharply, knocking the Doctor back a step.

"No!"

Rose ran forward, as if she was to latch on to the TARDIS door, but she was too late. It had already dematerialized. She felt a hand slip into hers. She looked over to the Doctor standing next to her and she felt immediate relief. That relief vanished with the sight of the blue suit. She pulled her hand back.

"I'm sorry," she started. "It's just that… You're not him."

The Doctor's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Yes, I am. I'm him and he's me. We're the same person."

"I know," Rose sighed. "But he would never-"

"Love you?"

Rose's eyes bore into him.

"No! Admit it! Say it out loud! I'm sorry. I know it must be hard for you too. I just thought I was going back."

The Doctor exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. She would warm up to him eventually. She was just being cantankerous about the fact that she was back in this universe.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm stuck here too." The Doctor held his hand out again. "We can be stuck here together."

"Yeah, well, stuck with you, that's not so bad."

The Doctor smiled at her quoting what she had said on Krop Tor. She took his hand and they walked down the beach to where Jackie was waiting with a zeppelin. His grasp on her hand was a little bit tighter than it usually was, and it was starting to hurt, but she ignored it. She needed to make the best of this situation.

"It's gonna be a long ride back. You two gonna be okay?" Jackie asked them, but they both knew the question was directed at Rose. The Doctor said nothing and climbed not the zeppelin. Rose looked out to the water before climbing inside as well.

"I hope this is the last time we end up on this bloody beach." Jackie huffed, and then followed her daughter inside.

"Jackie?"

"Hm?"

Jackie looked up from her book to see the Doctor standing there.

"Do you know where Rose is?"

"No. Why? Have you lost her already?"

The Doctor gave her a half smile.

"Yeah. Any idea where she might be?"

Jackie thought for a moment.

"Have you checked the loo?"

"I haven't seen her for hours, Jackie. I don't think she's been in the bathroom for hours."

"No, that's where women go to cry without being bothered."

The Doctor frowned. He walked over the the couch that Jackie was sitting on and sat down next to her.

"Why? What's wrong with Rose?"

Jackie tilted her head and tutted at him.

"Doctor, she's been left in another universe by the man she loves. She spend years trying to get back to him and he went and left her on that damned beach. Thank the lord you didn't do that."

"But Jackie, I did! I'm him, he's me! I did what he did! I am him! Why doesn't anyone understand that?"

He put his head in his hands, and Jackie scooted closer to him and started to rub his back.

"Us humans just aren't used to seeing clones. You just need to show her that you are the same person."

"All she sees when she looks at me is a consolation prize. I want her to be happy."

Jackie put her hand under his chin and forced him to look her in the eyes.

"She will be. You will make her happy. You just have to prove that to her."

The Doctor sighed.

"Thank you, Jackie. I needed that."

She nodded.

"And one more thing," she said.

"What?"

"That," she said, slapping him hard, "is for leaving us in Norway! And this," she said, hugging him, "is for encouragement. Go show her that you are no consolation prize."

The Doctor smiled and leaped up from the couch to go find Rose, but upon standing he fell to the floor with a crash.

"We have arrived in London, right outside the Tyler mansion," said a voice over the intercom.

"Looks like we're here," said Jackie. "Let's go."

When they exited the zeppelin, the Doctor took in the sight of the mansion. It was bigger than he remembered. More daunting. He turned when he heard Rose's voice. She was talking to her mom. Her eyes were bloodshot and drooping, but she had done a good job trying to cover it up with makeup. His heartbeat sped up when she began to walk towards him.

"Hello."

She smiled up at him.

"Hi."

They both stayed quiet, staring at the mansion.

"So," the Doctor started, "this is where you lived while you were-"

"Can we please not talk about this? Not now. Please?"

"Oh. Yeah, yeah, sure."

"Thanks."

Jackie rushed past them into the house, greeted at the front door by Pete and Tony, Rose's four year old brother.

"Shall we go inside? I'd love to meet your brother. How old is he?"

Looking down, Rose answered, "Four," and she hurried ahead into the mansion.

"Four… She was alone for four years." With his heart in his throat, the Doctor followed her inside.

"And now I'm the 'clone'. And I'm here, in this universe. No way back."

"So, er-"

"Doctor. I'm still the Doctor."

"Right, naturally! How was the zeppelin ride back?"

Rose had gone upstairs with Jackie, so now the Doctor was sitting at the kitchen table with Pete while Tony was playing with a toy race car while lying on his stomach on the floor.

"Lonely," replied the Doctor.

"Alright then. Where- Tony Tyler, you've only just had a dessert! Put down that cupcake. Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, where are you going to stay? You don't have the TARDIS here, right?"

The Doctor took a bit of umbrage at that.

"Well, I… I just assumed that…"

Pete shook himself.

"Of course! Stay here as long as you'd like!"

Pete gave him a smile that had a little too much pity in it for the Doctor's taste.

"Thank you, Pete. I honestly don't know where else I'd stay."

"Any time, Doctor. After all that you've done for me… It is you that did that, right? You still have all of his memories?"

Exasperated, the Doctor nodded.

"I am him."

Pete bowed his head.

"Natch. Well, I've got to put Tony to bed, but you stay here. Would you like me to make you a cuppa?"

"Ta, I'll do it myself."

Pete just picked up Tony and left the room, leaving the Doctor sitting at the large table alone. Everything in the mansion seemed abnormally big and intimidating. It seemed as though the mansion was just too huge for four people to live in, yet he still felt unwelcome. Just when he was about to grow lost in his self-pitying thoughts, Rose walked in.

"I thought I'd find you here, hanging around in the kitchen. You never change."

The mood in the room suddenly became tense, and the Doctor felt as though he was suffocating.

"I mean… I'm sorry. This is going to take some getting used to."

"Why?'

Rose instantly became nervous. That was a tone of voice that he had only used on her once, and that was when she almost destroyed the universe by saving her father.

"Why does this have to take getting used to? I don't know what you want me to do, Rose. I've tried to be the same. I've tried not to do anything different, but you just won't give me a chance! It's still me, Rose! It's me. Stop acting like I'm someone different." He got up off the chair, and stood right in front of Rose. "Please."

Rose simply nodded, eyes wide.

"Now, please show to where I'm going to sleep."

She nodded again.

"Follow me."

She led him up the staircase and through many winding corridors. She finally stopped in a hallway that only had three doors. She pointed at each one in succession.

"Loo, yours, mine. Just knock if you need anything."

She began to open her own door.

"Oh, um, pyjamas?"

"There should be some spares in the drawers."

"Thanks." She gave a thin smile before turning around and walking into her own room.

"Rose."

She spun around.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I'm really sorry. Can we just go back to normal? That's all I want. Let's start this all over again."

He walked close to her, and took her hand.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor."

She giggled, and gave him the first real smile since they'd arrived in this universe. She rolled her eyes.

"Doctor who?"

"There we are. G'night, Rose."

"Goodnight, Doctor. And I really am sorry."

The Doctor clenched his fists and forced a smile on his face.

"S'alright, Rose. Go to bed."

"'Kay," she said, before giving him one more small smile, then closing the door. The Doctor let out a long breath and entered his own room. It was dully decorated, with a forest green ceramic lamp on the bedside table, an ugly portrait of a fat woman on the wall, and a brown pinstriped comforter on the bed. He let out a snort of disapproval.

"Figures," he muttered under his breath, before punching the lamp. He watched it fall to the ground in slow motion before it cracked into an uncountable number of tiny ceramic pieces. He heard the crash after he saw it, realizing that Rose must have heard it, being in the next room. He whirled around to face the door as it was swung open with great force.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Rose ran into the room and stood next to him.

"Uh, yeah, fine. The lamp. It fell."

"It fell."

"Yup," he said, popping the 'p'.

"On it's own?"

"Yeah, you know lamps, totally unreliable. Their stability is dreadful."

"Uh huh. Well, call me if the painting has a random case of vertigo."

"Oh. no, Rose, don't you know? Paintings of fat ladies are the most stable of all household items."

"Oh my god!" Rose exclaimed, putting a hand over her mouth.

"What? It was only a joke. Household items more or less have equal stability."

"No, that's a painting of my mother."

The Doctor did a double take and widened his eyes.

"I… In all fairness… Okay. Time to go to bed."

Rose laughed and swatted his arm.

"Hopefully for the last time, goodnight, Doctor."

"'Night, Rose."

Rose left the room and the Doctor sat down on the bed, resolving to pick up the shattered lamp in the morning.

The Doctor woke up to the sound of whimpering. It was quiet, almost unnoticeable, but he was a light sleeper. He stood outside of his room, trying to determine where the sound was coming from, until he realized that it was coming from Rose's room. He knocked on her door twice.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

No answer.

"Rose, if you don't answer me, I'm coming in."

No answer.

"Okay, I'm coming in now."

He opened the door to find Rose thrashing around on the bed. He slowly walked over to where she was sleeping, sat on the edge of the mattress, and started to shake her.

"Wake up, Rose, you're having a bad dream. Wake up."

She arose with a gasp and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Doctor!"

She threw her arms around him and started to cry.

"I had the worst dream. I was trapped in Pete's World again and you had this clone, and you had left me and-"

The Doctor took her arms from around him and put them back at her side. He leaned across her and turned on the lamp next to the bed.

"What-? Oh."

She looked around the room and saw that she was in her bedroom in Pete's mansion.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I just thought that-"

"I was the real Doctor."

"No! No. You are the real Doctor. That's what you said, right? You are the real Doctor, yeah?"

Like earlier, Rose saw anger flash through the Doctor's eyes. She felt herself growing nervous yet again.

"No."

"No? What do you mean? You said before-"

"I don't want to be the Doctor because I said so. I am the Doctor. You know me as the Doctor. I am the Doctor."

His tone was sharp and commanding.

"Yeah, I know, you're the Doctor. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

His eyes glazed over in anger and he gave her a thin, disapproving smirk.

"It's okay, Rose. Just don't. Do it. Again."

"I won't, I'm sorry, but you are different. It's going to take some getting used to!"

His grin faded.

"I am not different!"

"Yes you are! You would never yell at me like this!"

"You don't know that! You don't know anything about me! What's my name?"

Rose tried to get up off of the bed, but the Doctor grabbed her wrist tightly.

"I… I don't know!"

He held onto her wrist tighter.

"Who was my best friend?"

"I don't know!"

"How old am I, Rose? Do you know anything at all about me?!"

"Let go of me! You're hurting me!"

The Doctor just squeezed tighter in response. Rose screamed in pain.

"Fuck, Rose! I'm trapped here too! I was born out of war. Made from hate! That's the only difference! Where I was made. And I'm far less forgiving. I gave you so many opportunities, Rose. So many. But you just kept shutting me out. Kept dismissing me as your 'consolation prize'. Well, you know what?"

He took a pause, just to gaze at the fear in her stare. He twisted her wrist around until he heard it crack. Rose screamed until she fell unconscious on the bed.

"No second chances. I'm that sort of a man."


End file.
